What began 100 years ago, with President Woodrow Wilson signing into law a National Day to honor mothers, has come to represent something of a flawed model for truly honoring those we care about.

In today’s culture, where ‘busyness’ rules the day, we can quickly and easily fall into familiar patterns that look an awful lot like day-to-day survival as we work through our to-do lists. By the time Mother’s Day rolls around, the scramble to ‘show Mom how much you love her’ can simply become another checklist item.

As leaders, we can fall into these same patterns.

‘To-Do List’ Appreciation
Many years ago, working with one of my leaders on this very topic, I had observed an unhealthy tension between the leader (Ron) and his staff members. With one particular staff member (Robbie), it was especially pronounced.

I met with Robbie and asked him why he was so angry with Ron. He proceeded to describe the dysfunction between Ron and the whole staff.

One of the examples Robbie cited was that when Ron would walk in to work every morning, he would walk right past every one of his co-workers without saying a word, much less “good morning.” Hearing these examples, I sat the two of them down to talk about these behaviors in order to bring insight to Ron, and facilitate a healthier work environment.

As Robbie shared his example with Ron about not saying “good morning” when he walked in, Ron wrote a note on his paper, saying aloud as he wrote…”Say good morning to Robbie when I walk in.” Ron’s tone was clearly patronizing. Robbie hung his head in disappointment.

Ron was terminated shortly thereafter for a variety of reasons, including his lack of value for people. He relegated respect and honor to a checklist item.

A Look in the Mirror
We hear stories like the one I just described, and we are appalled. Yet if we look in the mirror, how often do our actions reflect aspects of this very same behavior. For example, if we are marking our calendars in Outlook with reminders to ‘get Mom a card’ are we truly honoring her?

I am not advocating doing away with Mother’s Day. I just believe that we have an opportunity to ‘honor’ differently. If we truly want to honor her, we make it a priority and demonstrate our love and honor through our regular actions.

And so it goes with those we lead. It is easy for us to say we value our staff, but do our daily actions reinforce that our actions match our words? If not, let’s change that.

Let’s use this Mother’s Day, not as an annual reminder of when to ‘honor’ mom, but rather as the beginning of how we will honor those we love and care about each and every day.

Jeff Michaels is a Sales & Marketing Executive that has worked with executives, leaders, & teams for 25 years to create repeatable success regardless of industry, economy or circumstance.